


the enemy of attraction

by peaceoutofthepieces



Category: SKAM (Netherlands), WTFock | Skam (Belgium)
Genre: Enemies to Lovers, M/M, Roommates, i don’t even know what else to tag, that’s basically it, they’re idiots from beginning to end
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-13
Updated: 2020-08-13
Packaged: 2021-03-06 03:47:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,416
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25876927
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/peaceoutofthepieces/pseuds/peaceoutofthepieces
Summary: “I think Lucas is still out right now, but you’ll meet him later. He’s got the other room up here,” Kes tells him, making a vague gesture down the hall and giving a small shrug.Jens nods. “What’s he like?”“Art hoe, weird fashion sense, sarcastic little shit, and my best friend of like fifteen years,” Kes grins. “Don’t worry, he’s more likable than I just made him sound. You’ll get along fine.”Jens doesn’t bother mentioning that Kes’s description is actually pretty appealing, that it reminds Jens of Sander if anything, and he’s sure theywillget along fine.Then he meets him.
Relationships: Jens Stoffels/Lucas van der Heijden
Comments: 2
Kudos: 123





	the enemy of attraction

**Author's Note:**

> Mild trigger warning for panic attacks!

Jens doesn’t really mind having to move into a shared house with new people. In fact, he’s quite looking forward to it. It’s a smaller bill for him to pay and much more secure than a few other options he’d been considering. It leaves him a lot less stressed than he would have been otherwise. 

When Kes greets him, his excitement grows. Kes seems to have taken Jens’s chill vibe to another level and, Jens allows himself to admit, is similarly pretty. With his dark skin and unruly hair and bright eyes, but mostly with the way he carries himself, with an ease that Jens appreciates. He’s kind and cheerful when he greets Jens and gives him a little tour of the house, introducing him to Max on the way. Max is quieter, and not half as enthusiastic in his greeting, but still pleasant enough. Overall, Jens is pleased as Kes leads him to his room upstairs, still chattering away. 

“I think Lucas is still out right now, but you’ll meet him later. He’s got the other room up here,” Kes tells him, making a vague gesture down the hall and giving a small shrug. 

Jens nods. “What’s he like?”

“Art hoe, weird fashion sense, sarcastic little shit, and my best friend of like fifteen years,” Kes grins. “Don’t worry, he’s more likable than I just made him sound. You’ll get along fine.”

Jens doesn’t bother mentioning that Kes’s description is actually pretty appealing, that it reminds Jens of Sander if anything, and he’s sure they _will_ get along fine. 

Then he meets him. 

At first sight, Lucas seems like the perfect roommate. He’s at least, like Kes, extremely pretty. His curls are shorter, but just as unruly, and he has the bluest eyes Jens has ever seen. His smile as he stands teasing Kes is somehow cheeky and shy all at once, almost glimmering, and Jens falls for it instantly. He finds himself mirroring it as he steps into the kitchen and greets them, and Kes turns to him and is just as enthusiastic as before, and the smile slips right off Lucas’s face. 

It leaves vines of nerves crawling around Jens’s ribs as he greets him, introducing himself and offering his hand. Lucas is hesitant in taking it, and only shakes it quickly with an abrupt, “Lucas,” before turning back to Kes and blocking him right out. 

Jens can take a hint. His smile falters, a little, as he goes about getting himself some food, but he’s okay. It doesn’t matter. First introductions are always awkward. Then, as he’s leaving, he hears Lucas’s hiss of, “Why didn’t you warn me I was going to have to deal with _that_?”

Which is….well, it’s not ideal. It disappoints Jens more than he’d like to admit. But it’s fine. If Lucas wants to be like that, then it’s fine. 

The disappointment quickly turns to resentment, anyway. 

Classes start up almost instantly, anyway, and Jens is barely at the house. He makes friends in his course, and spends his breaks and some evenings with them. Others, he’s swamped with work, and spends most of his time in his room. He chats with Kes on the occasions he finds him alone, and they become naturally friendly, easily familiar with each other in a way that allows them to joke around and smoke together without any trouble. Jens finds himself regretting turning down offers of joining him at the skatepark. He even becomes more familiar with Max, who is a little surprising, once you get him to actually speak. He’s less interested in skating and smoking like his roommates and more interested in psychology and weird universal theories, but Jens likes him. He seems to also share a little of Jens’s interest in music, and he’s at least nice to him. 

On weekends, he goes home. It’s nice, even with his parents pestering him, to see everyone again. He spends most of the time with his friends anyway, stealing into Robbe and Sander’s couply time and letting Moyo drag him to the occasional party. He goes to parties, too, during the week when he knows he won’t have early classes, and improves his relationships with his new classmates and maybe hooks up with a few people. He settles in. 

He avoids Lucas at every turn.

Well, he tries to. Somehow, their initial cold interaction turns to an ongoing battle that could possibly be called a war. 

It starts, mostly, due to the fact that they live together on the same floor. Each room has its own bathroom, which is a blessing, and sound is fairly blocked out from the main rooms and downstairs bedrooms as soon as you reach the landing. So when in his room, Jens is basically allowed to chill in his own little bubble. 

Or at least, he would be, if it wasn’t for Lucas. 

Their second interaction isn’t any more pleasant than their first, and it’s once again Lucas’s fault. Jens makes Wednesday nights his practice nights, because no one ever wants to do anything on a Wednesday (or at least, Jens doesn’t). They are also, conveniently, the single night of the week that Lucas always spends out of the house. Jens can play his piano as messily and frustratedly as he wants without anyone hearing or making any noise on the other end. 

At least, this is the way it goes for the first three weeks. In all of this time, Jens avoids actually having to interact with Lucas in any way, and Lucas doesn’t make any attempt to talk to him, so Jens thinks they’re on pretty even ground. They can’t not get along if they never see each other, after all. 

Maybe it’s the easy route, and the chicken route, but Jens is taking it. 

Until the fourth week. 

After almost a month of living with him and avoiding his very existence, Jens finally has his first proper conversation with Lucas. When he’s about to do his weekly Wednesday practice, and music suddenly begins blasting through his wall.

Jens doesn’t even pay attention to what kind of music it is. From his room, it’s simply a loud bass that gives him an instant headache. Frankly, he doesn’t understand. He’s labeled Lucas as uncaring and mildly rude, but he’s overall not a bad roommate. He doesn’t leave a mess lying around, he does his share of the chores, and he most definitely isn’t loud. At least, as far as Jens has been aware. This is why, for the first few moments, he simply brushes it off. With a steadying breath, he sits down at his piano and tests a few keys. They’re a faint ding under the music, but audible. He plays a few chords, keeping his shoulders relaxed, taking another few breaths, and it’s not as good as usual but it’s fine. It’s manageable. 

Then the music gets louder. 

Jens slams his hands down on the keys. He sucks in a much more irritated breath as he stands, stomping out his door and down the hallway to the only other room on the floor. The door is exactly the same as his, plain, dark, brown wood, and he raises his fist and bangs on it a few times. 

When nothing happens, he does it again. 

He’s raising his hand for the third time when the door swings open and Lucas appears. His shirt is paint-splattered and his hair even more unkempt than usual. His eyes are sparkling and his lips are in an easy upward curve that grows as he looks at Jens. 

It’s in this instant that all of Jens’s disappointment surrounding him turns to annoyance, and then shifts further into spite. 

“Are you kidding me?” Jens demands. 

The smile slips off Lucas’s face as he blinks at him. “I’m sorry?”

“Of course you’re doing it on purpose. What the hell is your problem?”

Lucas’s brows knit into a frown. “What the hell are you talking about?”

Jens grits his teeth. If Lucas had been nice about this—or at least not a complete _asshole_ —maybe they could have turned a corner. Became more amicable roommates. Jens has never expected it, but it would have been nice all the same. To not have to worry about it so much, or feel the need to distance himself. But he supposes this outcome isn’t the worst. He’s already known Lucas simply wasn’t going to form any kind of friendship with him, that for some reason he’s intent on making Jens’s life unnecessarily difficult. It’s good to just have it confirmed, he supposes. Now he can crush that last shred of ridiculous, irrational hope. 

“Could your music be any louder?”

Lucas blinks at him once more, then looks over his shoulder into the room, then back at Jens. He gives a light shrug. “Probably. Why, you want it turned up?”

Jens gapes. What the hell? “Are you fucking serious?”

“It was a genuine question, yeah,” Lucas shrugs, leaning against the doorway and crossing his arms. 

“I want it turned _down_.”

Lucas hums, giving him a considering once-over. “Why?”

“Why what? Why are you even here?”

“I live here, same as you,” Lucas says, in a tone that leaves Jens waiting for him to mutter ‘sadly’ under his breath. He doesn’t, but he looks like he wants to. 

Jens closes his eyes and takes a moment to steady himself. “I don’t know what your problem is, but I came over to ask nicely.”

“If this is your definition of nice, I’d hate to see you mad.”

“Can you just turn your music down?” Jens asks, too harshly, not harshly enough. Of course, even now, Lucas is still confusing him. 

It would be easier to hate him, Jens thinks, if he wasn’t so goddamn _pretty_. The smirk pulling at his lips should be too infuriating to be attractive. He raises his eyebrows at Jens, not making any move to comply. It takes a moment for Jens to figure out what he’s waiting for, and when he does, he wants to put him up against the wall. _No, Jens, through the wall, through the wall, you’re angry, he’s an asshole, what the hell are you thinking?_

He clenches his jaw and forces out a low, “Please.”

Lucas grins, pushing himself off the door frame to pat Jens’s shoulder. “Well, since you asked _nicely_.”

With that, he spins back around and slams the door behind him. 

Jens flinches, taking a step back and otherwise not moving. The interaction had been both better and worse than he’d expected, but he’s still left reeling in shock. He isn’t really surprised by Lucas’s attitude—at least, he shouldn’t be—but he’s a little surprised at how obvious he was with it. He supposes it’s been like that since the beginning, though. He supposes it doesn’t matter. Max is too set apart to even really notice and Kes is too chill to care. They’d probably both just laugh at them and tell them to work it out between themselves. 

Jens doesn’t care if they don’t work anything out. He doesn’t care about Lucas. Why should he? He can just go on, keeping his distance like he has been and picking his fights carefully. The other boy isn’t worth his time. 

When he’s back in his room, the music tones down a few decibels. It’s still unnecessarily loud, and extremely annoying, but at least now Jens can hear himself think. 

Picking his fights. 

With a sigh, he sits down at his piano again. Frustration has left his heart pounding and his hands trembling, but after a few notes both settle down. 

It’s fine. If Lucas wants to play his music extra loud, Jens can do the same. Even when his fingers begin to cramp and the music has almost died down entirely, he keeps going. _If Lucas wants to be extra fucking annoying, two can play at that game._

~^~

Jens can’t manage to get along with Lucas, but his friends are a little more complicated. Kes is cool, and he’s always been good to Jens. They’re almost polar opposites. So when Jens ends up meeting their mutual friend, he really doesn’t know what to expect. 

He waltzes into the kitchen expecting to have the house to himself and finds Kes and Lucas both sat at the table, along with another boy with curly black hair and a dark line of stubble around his jaw. The three of them are laughing, Lucas shaking his head, and it puts Jens back to the first day he’d met him. When he’d seen that smile and thought it was beautiful, before getting a glimpse of what’s underneath. He halts just two steps inside the doorway and almost walks right back out, but the unfamiliar one has already noticed him, and Jens isn’t rude. He gives what he hopes is a convincing smile and greets them with a quiet, “Hey.”

Kes is the first to grin back at him, breezily greeting him back, as unaffected by the sudden tension in the room as ever. Lucas doesn’t even spare him a glance, but turns his head in the opposite direction. Jens is too used to the reaction to be offended—or at least, he should be. 

The other boy, however, grins brightly. “This has to be Jens. Is this Jens?”

“This is Jens,” Kes grins.

“No fucking way,” he says happily. Then, to Jens, “We were just talking about you.”

Jens’s eyes narrow slightly. Considering they were laughing when he came in, he can’t imagine it was the kindest conversation. It makes something twist sharply in his chest, pushing air out of his lungs and leaving him shifting on his feet. He’s never considered Kes as anything but genuine, but now he’s doubting himself. He’s Lucas’s best friend. If Lucas hates him, isn’t it somewhere in the bro-code that his friends should feel the same? 

Lucas gives the boy a sharp look, and Kes simply tilts back in his chair, laughing again slightly as he looks at Jens. “I was just telling Jayden about the other night when that girl was coming onto you. Remember, the one with the boyfriend who got super pissed at you then let you off after you started flirting with him? It was really genius, man.”

Jens allows himself to relax slightly, feeling a little ridiculous for his earlier thoughts and cataloging the name. He still feels a little awkward just standing there, and he moves to open the fridge, managing a grin in response. “He was more my type, anyway.”

Kes just chuckles at him as he picks a can of cola from the fridge and moves to lean against the counter, a little closer to Lucas than he’d like. He doesn’t really want to drink it, but it feels good to do something with his hands. He could have easily made his escape now, probably. But something keeps him in his place. Curiosity, most likely. About this new boy and whether he’s Kes’s friend or Lucas’s, and what he’s doing here in the first place. 

“You giving them tips, or something?” Jens asks Kes, raising a brow in question. 

“They need it,” Kes shrugs easily. He knocks Jayden’s shoulder. “Especially this one.”

“Hey,” Jayden protests, twisting his head to scowl at him. “You need just as much help as me. And Lucas needs more.”

Lucas smiles sarcastically and says, “Fuck you too.”

Jens barely holds back a snort of amusement, scowling at himself instead. Lucas isn’t funny. He wouldn’t give him the satisfaction of showing his amusement. Lucas would probably fight him over it, anyway. He takes a sip of his cola and keeps quiet. 

“You know I’m right,” Jayden shrugs, smiling, unapologetic, and Lucas does snort, rolling his eyes. 

“It would be a change,” Lucas says. Kes huffs a little laugh of his own and raises his hand for a high five, which Lucas complies to. Jayden scowls at them both. Jens feels incredibly out of place. 

“I don’t get why it’s so hard for you when you literally have hot roommates,” Jayden retorts, and Jens chokes on his drink. He coughs slightly, feeing like an idiot as Lucas gives no response beyond a slight tensing of his shoulders. Jayden’s expression is still smug as he looks at him, and cheerful as he looks at Jens, and he wiggles his brows suggestively. “I mean, you’ve missed out on Kes, but there’s definitely at least one other great option here.”

Kes smacks the back of his head as Jens feels his cheeks heat up. “Jesus, bro, is that your attempt at flirting?”

Jayden shrugs, looking back at Jens. “Did it work?”

Jens smiles and decides to take the opportunity. “A lot better than it would have if someone else had tried it.” At ‘someone else’, he gives a pointed nod to Lucas. 

Who, as expected, gives a roll of his eyes and a scoff. “As if you’d be worth the energy.”

“Too much energy for you to keep up, I’m sure,” Jens agrees easily. It feels extra daring, bringing their taunting out into the open like this in front of Lucas’s closest friends. But they’re the ones who seem to be enjoying it most, who look to be biting back laughter at Lucas’s expense, amused or exasperated or some mixture of the two. 

Lucas rolls his eyes, again, so strongly that Jens really thinks they’re going to disappear right into the back of his skull. He stays quiet, this time, seemingly deciding that even giving a response is too much energy, and that his silence speaks for itself—Jens isn’t worth any more words. It leaves something different stirring in his chest, something closer to frustration or desperation. He has the sudden, blinding desire to poke at Lucas until he snaps, giving Jens a worthwhile response. It’s tactful, what Lucas has done, but Jens hadn’t realised it would work. It’s an odd thought, to realise that Lucas choosing to ignore him kind of hurts. 

Jayden is, once again, the one to break the tension. “I wish I had a hot roommate. Even Liv was awesome. Dude, Kes, imagine if I could’ve gotten Liv. Us, and you and Isa. Oh, and Lucas with Ralph!”

“I would never have been with Ralph,” Lucas brushes him off. 

“Why not?” Jayden frowns. 

“Well, for one, he’s like five years older than me.”

“Age is just a number, Lucas.”

“Why don’t you date Ralph, then?”

“Because he’s _Ralph_.”

“Oh, come on,” Jens butts in. He waits until he has their full attention before focusing his gaze on Jayden, suddenly seeing another opportunity. “You can’t tell me you’re single.”

Jayden gestures gratefully at him. “It’s fucking hard to believe, right? I knew someone would understand.”

“I can’t believe _Jens_ is single,” Kes argues. “Like, no one can explain that to me.”

“I can think of a few reasons,” Lucas mutters. Jens scowls at him and catches Kes rolling his eyes. 

Jayden merely gives a small huff of laughter and looks at Jens, casting his gaze over him appreciatively. “Yeah, you’re right,” he tells Kes. “That really doesn’t make any sense.”

Lucas sets his palms on the table with a little too much force and sits up in his chair, looking between his two friends with carefully veiled annoyance. “As heartwarming as this is, we planned to go out, did we not?”

“Yeah, but Jens is here,” Jayden shrugs, “and you guys haven’t let me meet any of your friends yet.”

“We’re not friends,” Lucas says simply. 

Jens ignores the twist in his chest as Kes rolls his eyes again with a small pout. “Speak for yourself. Jens, why don’t you come with us? We’re just going to the skatepark and then that cafe nearby for lunch.”

Lucas whips his gaze around to Kes, very clearly unimpressed with his suggestion, and Jens hesitates. “It’s more of a close catch-up thing,” Lucas argues. 

“Bullshit,” Jayden rolls his eyes, this time, and makes it seem somehow cheerful. “Don’t even listen to him,” he tells Jens. “It can be a getting to know each other thing. I’m cool with it. Lucas just enjoys being a little bitch.”

Jens actually feels a little bad, as Lucas’s shoulders tense further and he realises it’s his fault. He is out of place—very obviously infringing on what is already a closely knit group. He’d hate someone barging on in his time with the Broerrrs, especially now that they’re that much further apart. He understands where Lucas is coming from and, well, there’s a little voice in his head saying he shouldn’t give Lucas any reasons to hate him even more. 

There’s a louder voice saying this is a wonderful opportunity to win one battle in their mini war, and it’s this that leaves him grinning at Jayden and setting his cola down on the counter. “I guess I can spare a couple of hours to come join you.”

The deep breath Lucas takes is only the beginning. 

~^~

It becomes a thing, the music, because of course it does. It messes up Jens’s playing schedule, because these music nights seem to pop up whenever Lucas feels like it. Jens is unable to avoid him as much as he used to, what with having to yell at him more often. This only occurs the first few times, however, and then eases into a few bangs on Lucas’s door being all that’s necessary. He seems to actually comply as long as Jens has a valid excuse, and so he finds himself playing piano much more often, simply as a way of keeping the other boy quiet. 

Their relationship has only seemed to grow in pettiness, with Lucas no longer bothering to hide his dislike after that day with Jayden. Jayden, Jens has come to understand, is their other best friend from high school, who had no interest interest in following them to university. Jens doesn’t understand how someone so awful can have such chill friends. He’d found it easy to goof around with Kes and Jayden, especially after noticing the obvious annoyance Lucas felt over the ordeal. It serves him right, Jens had told himself, for everything Lucas puts him through. 

It hadn’t stopped him from feeling a little bad, though, when Lucas had finally given up, leaving early with some half-hearted excuse Jens can’t even remember. 

But, it isn’t his job to take care of Lucas, and he’s sure Lucas certainly wouldn’t care about him. 

It feels like they have moved in to full on enemy territory when Kes refers to their combined presence as a war zone for the fourth time. Jens thinks he just likes being dramatic. There’s nothing war-like about their little spats—Jens isn’t petty enough to take it to that level. Their relationship is snide comments and taunting remarks, finding the best way to annoy each other and running with it. It’s not like they’re getting into fist fights. Everyone is just taking it overboard. Jens simply doesn’t care about Lucas enough to put in such energy. 

Until he has a little alcohol in him, apparently. 

He doesn’t know what brings the whole event about in the first place, or why any of them think it’s a good idea to host a party in their house, but Jens somehow gets roped in and thrown in the middle of it. He doesn’t mind, because parties are fun, and it’s mostly Kes’s idea, so all cleanup duties can be forced onto him. Jens is simply free to drink the night away, mingle with the crowd, and maybe find someone who peaks his interest and manages to keep him interested. A proper college night. 

He can do that. He needs that. A night to feel free, to loosen up, to have fun. 

To not have to worry about Lucas and whatever the hell his problem is. 

Of course, there are a few clear flaws to this plan. One being that the party kind of sucks, because they hadn’t even thought to buy alcohol in advance, so Jens is stuck with some awfully flavored vodka that leaves his head spinning much too quickly. Two being that Lucas and whatever the hell his problem is is pretty much always on Jens’s mind. 

And three being that it’s a little hard to avoid him, considering he’s also one of the members of the house. 

Jens has complained (internally) on numerous occasions that Lucas is the perfect example of too much beauty being bestowed upon the undeserving. Surely such an awful personality should have an equally awful appearance. He’s always complained about this, when all he’s seen Lucas in is his sweatshirts and jeans and paint-splattered tees. 

Lucas in party attire is a whole other unworthy thing. 

He thinks he’s so cool, Jens bets. With all his curls perfectly styled into a messy wave and the top button of his shirt popped, exposing a chain Jens has never seen before, and unnecessarily tight jeans and too many rings. Decked out fully in black, ratty converse and all, and somehow managing to look the perfect mix of preppy asshole and artistic god. The colour should leave him drowned out—he isn’t someone Jens expects to suit the all black look—but his eyes are somehow extra bright and extra blue and extra goddamn irritating as they land on Jens and skip past with barely a second’s pause. 

Maybe they’re further into enemy territory than he originally thought, because God, Jens really _hates_ him. 

He’s been the perfect, light-hearted, lively host to everyone who’s stepped through the goddamn door. 

Everyone seems to love Lucas. Which is fine. Great. None of Jens’s business. There are plenty of people who like him too. It just sucks that none of these people, who approach Lucas with ease and chat amicably and laugh and flirt and whatnot, know how much of an asshole he actually is. 

It’s the only reason Jens finds himself sulking in the kitchen, making his way slowly through another cup of this disgusting vodka and tossing the occasional scowl in Lucas’s general direction. There are a few other people who pass through every now and again and don’t take much notice of him, along with the couple that have been making out on top of their counter for at least the past ten minutes. Jens is tempted to tell them to get a room, but well, it’s his house. He supposes he could always lead them to Lucas’s. But then more people may get the wrong idea and decide to copy, and well, Jens doesn’t want to have to be that shitty host that kicks everyone out. 

Kes is one of the people to pass through, but unlike the rest, he doesn’t bypass Jens. He notices him instantly and greets him with his usual easy grin, giving him a clap on the shoulder as he collects his own can of what Jens guesses is gin. “Why are you hiding out in here? Haven’t found anyone to hook up with yet?”

Jens shrugs. He really has the perfect view through the doorway right into the sitting room, where Lucas is tucked into the corner, laughing at some poor guy who doesn’t know what he’s dealing with. “I haven’t really looked.”

“And why the fuck not? I’ve literally brought them right to your bedroom door. What more could you ask for?” Kes bumps his shoulder again, but his expression now is incredulous. “You can’t tell me no one has even tried their luck with you.”

There might have been someone, Jens thinks, but he can’t quite recall who they were or what they talked about, if they were actually flirting with him or not. He’s sure they weren’t, because he’d probably be hooking up with them right this moment if they were. But he really doesn’t know. He feels tired, under the alcohol buzzing through his system, an unfamiliar exhaustion that almost makes him want to abandon the party early. He can do nothing but shrug again. He doesn’t really think Kes would understand, if Jens tried to tell him that he doesn’t even know. He doesn’t want to have to explain how totally he’s zoned out the beginning of the night. 

“Well, you obviously don’t need my help, so I don’t know what else I can offer you. A little extra liquid courage?” Kes tries. 

Jens looks over at him and raises a brow, sloshing his cup in front of Kes’s face. 

Kes rolls his eyes and pushes his hand away. “Not that frilly shit. How do you feel about a round of beer pong? I have some killer shot mixture in here and I bet you’re a damn good teammate.”

Jens can’t really see any reason to argue with that. 

He finds himself out in the back garden too many minutes later, standing at one end of their shitty patio table and failing miserably at getting the ball into any of the opposite cups. Kes only laughs uproariously as he watches him, completely unbothered by the fact that they’re losing. Their opponents, however, seem to be pros. After three rounds, Jens feels a lot more buzzed than before, his head spinning as the lights around him go fuzzy at the edges, one person blurring into another until he can’t see who’s speaking to him anymore. He doesn’t mind. It’s a pleasant buzz. A relieving one. One that leaves him stupid and giddy, continuing to goof around with Kes and forgetting all about his earlier slump. 

They make it back inside, at some stage, and Kes disappears from his side and leaves him wandering aimlessly around the edge of the crowd. A girl approaches him at some point, fuzzy and blurry, and she says something that makes him laugh, which doesn’t mean much, considering he’s been laughing at everything. He thinks they dance a little, though he didn’t comprehend more than swaying from side to side with her hands too heavy on his neck and his half-hearted on her waist. They kiss, at some point, because of course they do, and Jens can’t tell if she tastes like that vodka he was drinking earlier or if the tang is simply still lingering on his own tongue. He feels light and bubbly and finally free. Able to let loose. Nothing else that he’s actually doing matters, just as long as his head keeps pleasantly quiet. 

He doesn’t know what separates them, and why he ends up going to his room without the girl following, but he wanders up the stairs himself when the music is still pumping loudly and the steps tremble under his feet. He tugs at the collar of his shirt, tempted to strip off his jacket, but he decides he’s probably better off hanging onto the railing until he at least makes it to the top. 

He’s not quite prepared, however, for the sight that greets him when he gets there. Lucas is stood outside his own door, still laughing, with that same guy from earlier still stood with him, toe to toe as he grins down at Lucas and looks entirely too pleased with himself. Jens is a little surprised they aren’t devouring each other on the spot. But the guy does have one hand settled comfortably in the dip of Lucas’s waist and the other tracing the collar of his shirt, testing the resistance of yet another button as Lucas’s rings threaten to get caught in his light blue hair. 

Blue. The guy has dyed his hair blue. Almost the perfect attempt at matching Lucas’s eyes. 

They aren’t devouring each other, but they look like they’re about to. Jens doesn’t understand why they’re standing in front of Lucas’s door when there’s a perfectly good bed inside, if they’re so interested. 

It leaves something hot and spiky shooting up into Jens’s chest, demolishing his previous buzz and leaving his fists clenching at his sides as he finds himself laughing derisively. It’s too loud and too brazen in the more peaceful atmosphere of the landing, and it startles Lucas’s gaze towards him in an instant. The surprise is brief as it flashes across his face, quickly turning to annoyance when he realises who it is he’s looking at. _Good_ , Jens thinks. _If I have to watch this, I should get to annoy him, too._

“Good luck with that,” he mutters under his breath, making his way to his own door as he smiles to himself, shaking his head. 

Blue-haired guy turns to look at him with a small, polite frown. “Sorry?”

Jens ignores the warning look Lucas shoots him and snorts, waving a hand at them both. “Nothing, sorry, nothing. Continue. I’m sure you’ll have a blast with that one.” He snorts to himself again, quietly, jiggling his door handle and sighing when it doesn’t budge. It would have to play up at the most inconvenient time, Jens supposes. He’d be too lucky otherwise. 

“What’s that supposed to mean?” The guy raises a brow and twists himself out of Lucas’s hold, taking a step closer to Jens as he tries the handle again. 

“Sem, just leave it, he’s just being a dick,” Lucas brushes it off, and Jens gives him a very kind smile alongside the middle finger. 

“Well, I’m sure Sem here has to deal with dicks all the time, so he probably doesn’t mind, right? Might make it easier to put up with you for the night. That is, if he even stays that long,” Jens shrugs. 

Lucas doesn’t give much of a reaction, but Sem’s nostrils flare and suddenly he’s closer to Jens than his hookup, chest puffed out and looking the very image of a ruffled peacock. “You done?”

Jens blinks at him, then smiles again. “I can be, or you can find a more creative way of shutting my up, if you like.”

Jens doesn’t really care what the guy thinks, but it’s always fun to get Lucas riled up. Especially in his especially tipsy state. It seems like a blast. He’ll probably never see this guy again, so what does it matter if he curses after him? Jens really wouldn’t mind, if he’s the topic of conversation between him and Lucas even after he finally gets into his damn room. 

He isn’t expecting the man to grab him by the shoulders and shove him roughly into the door behind him. It knocks the wind out of him and blows his eyes wide with surprise, but his body is able to respond before his brain. He’s shoving the guy off and back a few steps before he even realises it, straightening up and dusting off his shoulders, still reeling in mild shock. He doesn’t react quickly enough as Sem’s expression morphs further into anger and he snatches for him again. 

Lucas, however, does. He places himself between them in a heartbeat, catching Sem’s wrist in one hand and giving him a forceful shove with the other. “What the fuck? Don’t fucking touch him.”

Jens blinks again, staring at the back of Lucas’s head as Sem blinks at him, too. There’s a little more anger still left in the blue-haired boy’s gaze, however, than there is in Jens. He feels nothing more than a dull annoyance under the surprise, his anger thankfully dulled by the alcohol rather than spurred on by it. He does find himself growing a little tense, when he comes to the realisation that Sem still seems pretty pissed and Lucas is the one now in his direct firing line. _God, he really knows how to pick ‘em._ Jens rolls his eyes slightly. 

Lucas, for some reason, seems to be the angriest out of the three of them. 

“Are you joking?” Sem demands. “He’s a fucking asshole. You just pointed it out yourself. Why the hell are you getting mad at me?”

Jens can’t help but butt in. “I’m the asshole now? I thought I was the dick this time round, but that’s chill. I’m diverse.”

It’s enough to have Sem advancing again and Lucas giving him another shove and Jens realising he might be a little more drunk than he thought. There’s really no reason to egg Sem on at this stage beyond sheer stupidity. And, he supposes, a little intrigue. Lucas’s stance in front of him is ridiculously protective, and he seems oddly pissed off, considering it’s his hookup he’s fighting with when Jens _is_ , probably, the actual culprit. 

“You need to chill,” Lucas says, and for once, Jens can’t help but agree. “I think it’s best that you go.”

Sem’s jaw drops. “You’re the one who brought me up here.”

“And now I’m telling you to get the fuck out.”

Jens comes to the realisation that Lucas is kinda hot, when he’s riled up. It’s easier to notice, probably, when his anger isn’t directed at Jens himself. Jens can also put a lot of blame for the thought on the alcohol still coursing through his system. 

“Are you _serious_? What, is this some kind of jealous ex situation or some bullshit?” He gestures at Jens, and Jens makes an adamant noise of protest that they both ignore. 

“No. I don’t care if he’s an asshole, but I care if someone’s enough of a dick to start a fight that has nothing to do with him with this asshole in my own hallway. I’m not into overflowing levels of testosterone.”

Jens feels an odd sense of pride and relief rush through him, alongside a sudden, intense stab of worry. It wouldn’t take a lot of energy for Sem to throw himself at Lucas next, and Jens doesn’t currently have the reflexes or the strength to prevent it. He might not like Lucas, but he can agree that he’d rather not see him pressed to a pulp in their own hallway. 

Thankfully, his worries are unnecessary. Sem disappears down the stairs with nothing more than a last incredulous glance between them. Jens finally lets his shoulders slump, sighing slightly as he reaches back for his door handle once again. 

Before he can escape, however, Lucas is whirling on him with a deadly gleam in his eyes. “What the fuck is wrong with you? I get that you have something against me, but going around pissing off random guys is a good way to get some sense _beaten_ into you.”

“Please,” Jens pushes himself off from the door and rolls his eyes. He doesn’t bother pointing out that Lucas is the one with something against _him_. “I could’ve easily taken him.”

Lucas stares at him incredulously for another moment, then tosses his hands up and storms into his own room, slamming the door shut behind him. 

Jens slumps back against his own door and forgets his hand is still on the handle, pushing down accidentally and leaving the door swinging open under his weight. He stumbles back into his room and just manages to avoid landing on his ass, catching himself on the doorframe as he takes a slow breath. 

So maybe it wasn’t the best decision, but it’s Lucas’s fault. He’s always making Jens stupid, always demanding too much control over his emotions, his actions. Jens can’t be blamed for having to deal with such an awful roommate and ending up in some less-than-ideal situations. Especially not under the influence of alcohol he still doesn’t know the name of. 

He slams his door behind him, too. For good measure. 

~^~

The dynamic shifts, now, just slightly. Jens doesn’t know exactly how to react around Lucas, after waking up from the drunken incident and realising the boy had defended him. It doesn’t exactly fit in with the image Jens has in his head. He supposes it’s not that unexpected, and it makes sense Lucas would try to break up any fight and it probably had nothing to do with Jens. Nothing has really _changed_ , and Jens knows this. It just no longer seems right to call them enemies. 

It also doesn’t make them friends. 

Lucas still plays his music too loud, and Jens still bangs on the wall between them to get him to turn it down. Lucas will still scoff at pretty much anything Jens says, and Jens will still roll his eyes in response. Kes still calls them a war zone. 

Jens starts to look at Lucas with a little something less like annoyance and more like intrigue. 

Of course, he’s never claimed to know everything about Lucas. Neither of them have ever taken that opportunity, to attempt to get to know each other or figure each other out. They’ve spent all their time in contact making faces behind each other’s backs or visibly at each other’s throats. It’s never been a priority for either of them to know anything else, to form any actual opinion, to get past the point of rivalry between them. Jens has never looked for the root of his dislike for Lucas, and has never properly questioned Lucas’s instant dislike of him. 

After this event, Jens feels the need to do a little searching. He’s a little dumbfounded when he can’t find any real reasons. 

Of course, Lucas is rude as hell, at least when it comes to him, and possibly the most irritating person in the universe, and he seems intent on giving Jens a whole list of reasons to dislike him. But it’s not like Jens _hates_ him. It’s not like he couldn’t see them, maybe, in a different universe, actually becoming friends. Which is, overall, a pretty strange thought. 

He can’t exactly flip things around now either. There’s a little too much time spent taunting and grumbling and arguing to just set it all aside. It would probably concern Kes more than their constant bickering. 

It doesn’t seem to have changed anything for _Lucas_ , anyway. So Jens isn’t going to make a fool of himself by suddenly trying to be nice. Again. They’re fine, going about their business as usual. They’ve found some kind of rocky middle ground and Jens isn’t going to upset the balance. 

No matter how confused he becomes. 

He mostly just goes back to fully avoiding Lucas, which really isn’t as hard as he expects, considering they live in the same house. 

At least, until he comes home one day and finds Lucas in his room. 

Jens comes upstairs and finds relief in the fact that there’s no music playing. He could likely always do with a little piano practice, sure, but the day has left him exhausted. He wants nothing more than to crawl into his bed and spend the evening doing nothing. He’s especially glad that there are no arguments awaiting him. The last thing he needs, now, is to have to fight with Lucas. 

So finally entering his room to find Lucas sat on the edge of his bed with his head in his hands is more than a little surprising and distressing. 

“What are you doing in here?” Jens asks, dropping his bag by the door and staying frozen in place. Is Lucas waiting for him? He can’t imagine why. Unless he’s finally gotten his head out of his ass and has come to beg Jens’s forgiveness. 

Lucas picks his head up and looks at him, unseeing. Jens finally notices the rapid rise and fall of his shoulders, the too quick expansion and collapse of his chest. His breaths are too audible and too sharp and too fast and his hands shake now that the weight of his head isn’t steadying them. He looks lost and shaky and upset and Jens had not come home expecting this. 

He takes a step into the room and hesitantly shuts the door behind him as Lucas glances around and shakes more visibly. “Fuck. Perfect. I didn’t—“ He stands, too quick, swaying in slow motion before his knees buckle under him. 

“Woah,” Jens lunges forward and catches him by the arms. Lucas sinks against his chest as Jens does his best to hold them up, then Lucas quickly pushes him away and lowers himself into a crouch. Jens lets him, watching, as he takes his head into his hands again and his breathing picks up once more and Jens suddenly realizes what is happening. He’s never witnessed someone have a panic attack, but it seems obviously recognisable now. 

He seems very obviously out of his depth. 

The fact that it’s Lucas makes the matter much worse. Jens can’t imagine his presence will provide any comfort to the other boy. If anything, it already seems to be making it worse. He doesn’t know what to do. He knows that Lucas probably doesn’t want him, that he’ll hate himself for even letting Jens see this much of himself. It certainly doesn’t match up with the picture of him in Jens’s head. 

He just also knows he doesn’t want to leave Lucas alone. The feeling only strengthens when Lucas rocks on his heels and sits fully on the floor, drawing his knees close to his chest and tucking his head between them. His hands take up a tight grip on his shins, fingers digging in, and Jens is crouching down in front of him before he even realises it. 

“Hey,” he says softly. “It’s fine. Wasn’t exactly how I imagined I’d finally get a guy into my room, but it could be worse.”

Even though it’s his intention, he’s surprised when Lucas chokes a laugh. The following ‘fuck you’ is less surprising. Jens finds himself wearing a soft smile and wanting to shift closer, to soothe at least some of Lucas’s worries away. It doesn’t matter that he doesn’t know what they are, what has brought this on. It’s just so incredibly far from the image of Lucas in his head, and he doesn’t like it. In all the work he’s done to annoy Lucas in the months he’s known him, he’s never really wanted to see him like _this_. 

“I’m going to take a wild guess and assume you don’t want to talk to me, and you definitely didn’t mean to come in here, but I’m not leaving you like this.” Jens allows himself to shift just a tiny bit closer as Lucas raises his hands to his head and fists them in his hair. “Lucas, just tell me what I can do.”

He doesn’t think he’s going to get an answer, but then Lucas is loosening his hands and raising his head slightly. “I can’t—I don’t,” he pauses again, sucking in a breath. “It’ll pass. I just need—“

He cuts himself off again, releasing a groan that sounds more like a sob and letting his hands hover in the air at his sides, curling into claws. His cheeks are wet, and Jens guesses he does know what he needs and isn’t going to ask _him_ for it. His breaths are still coming too fast, and they now sound like they’re being choked out of him, catching on the tightness in his throat until Jens reaches out and takes his hands. 

He gives a hesitant squeeze, eyes flicking over Lucas’s face, looking for a sign that this is okay, and then Lucas is clinging to him tightly. “Better?” Jens asks. 

Lucas begins to nod, then hesitates. Shakes his head. “Not enough,” he gets out. “I’m—I can’t—“

It’s not much of an explanation, but somehow Jens understands. 

Without another word, he sinks down onto his knees while tugging Lucas towards him. With as little maneuvering as possible, he manages to shift into a position behind Lucas. He settles with Lucas in between his legs, pulling him back into his chest and wrapping his arms tightly around him.

For a moment, he thinks he’s gotten it wrong. Then Lucas melts back against him, even as his lungs continue to work in overdrive. Jens just tightens his grip, arms an immovable band across the boy’s chest. Lucas reaches up and grips onto them as he drops his head against his knees once more. He’s warm and strong in Jens’s grip, and Jens can’t imagine what is tearing him apart like this, but it tears a little at his own heart, too. It’s the empathy in him, he tells himself, that convinces him to lean forward and rest his own head against Lucas’s, cheek pressed to his hair. 

“You’re okay here,” Jens reminds him. “You’re safe here. You’re not being too loud, so you don’t even have to worry about me yelling at you.”

Lucas doesn’t respond, but he does tighten his grip on Jens’s arms. 

“I really don’t even get why it’s like that. Like, this house has a pretty shitty structure. The walls don’t block out shit but the floor is basically fucking soundproof. How does that even work? Whoever designed this needs to take a better study in architecture. All I ask is that if you ever bring a guy home, you remember the walls. The music I can deal with, but man...please do me this one favour, yeah? Promise goes both ways.”

Somewhere amidst all his nonsense, Lucas seems to have calmed down. He’s sunk even more closely against Jens, and every few breaths sound steady and synchronized. Jens shifts his cheek against his hair and tries to think of something else to say. He still doesn’t really know what he’s doing, and he feels incredibly out of his depth. He just knows that in his own anxiety, he likes to be distracted. Whatever is working Lucas up surely can’t be as irritating as Jens chattering away in his ear. 

“On the topic of architecture, would you ever consider doing something like that? I know you’re an art student, but like, what do you actually do?” He doesn’t expect to get a response, really, but he’s hopeful enough to wait a minute, just in case. 

It’s worth it, because surprisingly, Lucas does answer, even with his voice muffled against his knees. “Mixed media,” he mumbles. Before Jens can ask more, he elaborates. “I draw, and paint, and I love photography. I sculpt, a little. Never really for myself.”

Jens hums as a bubble of relief expands in his chest. “I think you’d get on with my friend Sander. He does...everything like that as well. Made this big ass mural in our city of my best friend, his boyfriend, before they properly got together. Plus, he enjoys annoying me, too.”

Lucas gives a quiet huff. Jens feels it in his own chest. “At least there’s no mural of you, then. I can still visit Antwerp in peace someday.”

“Little shit,” Jens responds, half-heartedly. His smile surely lessens the effect, even when Lucas can’t see it. For once, their teasing doesn’t needle uncomfortably at his chest. It feels familiar and relieving and almost fond. Jens will take it any day over tears, at least. “I assure you there are many people who would love to see a giant version of my face everyday.”

“Sounds terrifying.”

“Don’t be jealous. I’m sure there’s someone...somewhere out there who would like a giant painting of your face, too. It’d have a much easier time keeping its appeal, considering it can’t speak.”

Lucas’s next huff is almost a laugh. “Fuck you.”

For whatever reason, this makes Jens smile. He holds Lucas a little tighter, hugging him back into him. “Worked, didn’t it?”

Lucas goes silent. He twists his head, leaving it resting against the bundle of their hands, still tangled around his chest. Jens moves with him, keeping his cheek pressed against his hair. 

It’s strange and it isn’t. Never, since meeting him, has Jens expected to be in such a position with Lucas. Apparently, though, it hasn’t stopped him from imagining it at some point, because it feels easy and familiar and not at all inappropriate. It’s as natural as their too-loud knocks and the incessant bickering and that bubble of irritation that constantly floats in Jens’s chest. It feels just as easy to fall into soft touches and light teasing and an unfamiliar warmth. 

Jens doesn’t know what it means, but it’s probably going to cause him some trouble. 

“I am sorry,” Lucas mumbles again, after a moment of silence, when his breaths have fully evened out. His body is heavier now, weighed down by exhaustion as it’s finally able to relax. Jens easily adjusts to accommodate the change, bowing his back and slightly loosening his grip. Releasing his own tension. “I didn’t mean to come in here, obviously. I was just…”

“Yeah,” Jens says quietly. “That’s okay. It’s not as if the doors look any different.”

Lucas shakes his head just slightly, in a tiny nod. “Sorry.”

“Don’t be.” Then, because it’s starting to feel a little too serious, Jens adds, “It’s not like you ever apologise when you actually should.”

Lucas snorts. “You don’t make it easy.”

“Easy is boring. When is easy ever stimulating? Nah. Difficult is definitely more my type.”

There’s another short moment of silence. Then Lucas mumbles, “Thank you.”

Jens hums. He hasn’t really stopped to think about what Lucas might think of all of this, since his hesitation at the beginning. He supposes Lucas is just glad of the comfort, and of any route out of his head. He seems to still be looking for it, considering he’s yet to move out of Jens’s hold. 

“How’d you know how to react?”

“What?” Jens asks. “You think you’re the only person to work yourself into a state every now and again?”

Lucas goes quiet. It takes him a few moments to ask. “You have panic attacks?”

Jens shrugs. “Not so much, anymore,” he admits. “But I remember having them when I was younger. My mom used to do this for me, too, when I felt like clawing my skin off. I don’t really know what started them.”

“I didn’t expect that,” Lucas whispers. 

Jens turns his face further into Lucas’s hair as he smiles. “Guess we’re both very surprising.”

He doesn’t really know what happens next. All he registers is a hand moving into his hair and lips pressing firmly against his. 

A shock of surprise zips through his chest, but his eyes fall shut and his lips start to move on their own accord. He recognises, distantly, that Lucas is kissing him. That he’s kissing him back. 

This is definitely not what he’d expected to come home to. 

But he can’t find it in himself to complain. 

Not a single ounce of him protests as he adjusts his grip on Lucas, keeping one arm wrapped around his shoulders and moving the other to gently cup Lucas’s face in his hand, angling him towards him. Their mouths mold together with unexpected ease. Lucas’s lips are soft and light against his own, but sure in their movement and their intent as his fingers tangle in Jens’s hair. Their legs are awkwardly tangled together and both of their necks are twisted in an effort to hold contact, but neither of them move. They’re focused and content the way they are, kissing soft and slow as something new creeps into the space between them. 

Jens definitely doesn’t think he can call them enemies anymore. 

He’s no longer even surprised that the thought makes him giddy. This feels too good to be confusing. Jens doesn’t have to do any work to convince himself that he likes this. That he wants it. That he’d gladly kiss his most annoying roommate forever, if given the chance. 

It’s a startling revelation, and it’ll probably drive him insane later, but he’s finding it hard to think at all as Lucas takes his bottom lip between his own and deepens the kiss. 

Just as quickly as it started, however, it ends. 

Lucas jolts away from him, retracting his arms and his lips as his eyes widen, and then he’s scrambling out of Jens’s hold entirely and onto his feet. 

Jens can’t quite manage to pick himself off the floor quickly enough. He can only stare up at Lucas as he mutters, “I—fuck. Sorry.” 

Before Jens can catch him, he’s already darted out the door. 

~^~

It wouldn’t be hard for Jens to go after him. He is, after all, no more than a few steps down the hallway. Jens could easily get up and chase him and shut him up by kissing him again. It’s certainly what he wants to do. It’s probably what he should do. At the very least, it would make sure things are clear and stop any unnecessary awkwardness from setting in. 

But as soon as Lucas stops kissing him, stops touching him, the doubt begins to set in. 

Now, he finds himself still sitting on his floor and thinking, _What the hell was that?_

More than anything, he wants to go after Lucas to make sure he’s really okay. He’d calmed down considerably, the longer Jens held onto him, and he’d seemed very far from any realm of panic while he was kissing him. But he’d left the room in a bit of a tizzy, and Jens can’t help but worry just a little. It would be an awful waste if Lucas simply shuts himself up in his own room to freak out again. The question is simply what he would freak out about. 

Did he panic because he worried how Jens would react, or did he simply come to his own senses? 

It’s not like Jens had been unclear in his intentions. He hadn’t even hesitated before kissing Lucas back. Even though he’s never admitted it to himself before, it was easy in the moment to realise the idea had already crossed his mind. He’s always found Lucas attractive and been irritated by it, because it was certainly never going to do him any good. Lucas has been the one, from the beginning, to make his dislike of Jens clear. So Jens has kept out of his way. 

The prickle in his chest every time Lucas had argued with him now seems to make more sense. 

Of course, Jens thinks, he must be the only person in the world stupid enough to fall for his roommate who hates him.

Lucas had obviously forgotten his hatred in the spur of the moment. Jens had come across him in a vulnerable state, and taken advantage when he should have just left him alone from the beginning. Lucas probably didn’t know what to do, with Jens getting a chance to show him some actual kindness. He’d been confused, obviously, and probably a little disoriented, and likely still a little hurt and upset, and Jens had been sitting at his back with his arms locked around him in a comforting hold. It only makes sense that in the moment, Lucas had simply made a very stupid and unthinking mistake. 

Jens should ignore the hurt the realisation causes him and actually go after Lucas to apologise. 

Instead, it takes him much too long just to pick himself up off the floor. Once he does, he moves to his door and pushes it closed with a soft click. 

Then he finally crawls into his bed, and now feels wide awake. 

~^~

He goes back to avoiding Lucas, even more intensely than before, and Lucas makes no effort to seek him out. He’s probably embarrassed, Jens suspects, or disgusted. Frustrated with himself for letting himself go. With each day that passes, the hole in Jens’s chest deepens and widens, draining the life out of him slowly until he’s dragging his fingers across piano keys in the poorest ever attempt at a practice. He doesn’t have an excuse to play as much anymore. Lucas’s room is radio silent.

Kes seems to know something, or at least notice that the distance between his roommates has changed. He doesn’t say anything to Jens, however. Jens is grateful. As much as the situation with Lucas has started to hurt, he doesn’t think he could stand losing Kes to it as well. 

He, of course, finally comes across Lucas in the most unexpected way. 

He runs into him on the campus courtyard, almost dumping the contents of his own coffee over them both and knocking the small pile of books out of Lucas’s hands. 

“Fuck, sorry,” he says instantly, ducking down to pick the bundle back up. He manages to awkwardly collect two books in his free hand and escape meeting Lucas’s eyes for a few seconds as he bends down to pick up the rest. He still avoids looking at Jens when he straightens, carefully taking the books from his grip and tucking them back into the curve of his arm. 

“It’s okay,” Lucas mumbles. “I wasn’t watching where I was going.”

Jens blinks. That’s new. 

“Well, as long as no art was harmed, right? Could’ve been worse. I could’ve completely knocked you over.”

Now it’s Lucas’s turn to blink at him as he silently curses himself. He’s avoided Lucas for a week in an attempt to put off the inevitable, fruitlessly trying to protect his newly-discovered feelings. Now he runs into him and calls him art? 

He officially needs to get his head checked. There’s definitely something there that isn’t quite matching up. 

“I have to go to class,” Lucas says, almost sounding regretful, and Jens hates that he knows he’s lying. Of course he’s paid enough attention to Lucas in the past few months to learn his schedule. 

It’s what makes him latch onto Lucas’s shoulder as he tries to pass him, turning around and pleading, “Luc, wait. Just give me two minutes.”

Lucas has stiffened under his touch, but he appears perfectly put together as he turns back around and faces Jens, holding his bundle of books tightly against his chest. Waiting. 

Jens takes a breath. “I’m sorry, about that night. I know you probably didn’t want me there in the first place and it makes sense that you just want to forget about it. But I’m sorry about...about the kiss. I get that you obviously made a mistake, and I should’ve stopped you right away and I’m sorry. I know we aren’t BFFs, but I’d never want to actually hurt you. I don’t know what I was thinking.”

Lucas is completely silent as he stares at him, and Jens’s heart is racing a mile a minute. The open courtyard probably isn’t the best place for this conversation. There are students sat at the benches, spread out on the grass despite the cold, milling around as they rush back and forth from their classes. It also feels a little safer. Like because they’re here, Lucas probably won’t yell at him or do anything that would cause a scene. 

Not that he’d do that anyway. Jens doubts he actually cares that much. 

Then Lucas says, “What the fuck are you talking about? _I’m_ the one who kissed _you_.”

Jens blinks at him. Is he missing the point? “Yeah. But you obviously didn’t want to. I was just there, and you were confused, and I took advantage.”

“Are you thick?” Lucas asks. 

Jens gapes at him. 

“I kissed you, and I apologised, because I’m a fucking idiot for having a crush on someone who hates me,” Lucas says, and Jens kind of wishes they were at least sitting down. 

_What?_

“A crush?”

Lucas rolls his eyes. “I know you’re an ass, but I was hoping you were decent enough not to make fun of me over it. I don’t fucking understand it either, if that helps.”

“Wait,” Jens shakes his head. A smile begins to spread slowly across his face. “You _like_ me?”

Lucas rolls his eyes again, with even more exaggeration. Jens is worried they’ll disappear right into the back of his head. “And you hate me, I know, so just—“

“Who the hell says I hate you? You’re the one who’s supposed to hate _me_.”

“You were the one who barely acknowledged me after we met and then started being an ass the second I thought you were finally going to talk to me.”

Jens gapes at him. He has no idea what’s happening. “You’re the one who barely acknowledged me when we met! You were an asshole to me for no reason since the second you saw me. You barely even introduced yourself, and I heard what you said to Kes. That you hated the thought of having to deal with ‘ _that_ ’,” he air quotes. 

Lucas gapes back at him. Then his mouth curls into a very tiny, unsure smile. “Wait. You thought I meant I didn’t want to put up with you because, what? I hated you on sight?”

“Didn’t you?”

“Oh my god, Jens. I said that to Kes because I was pissed he didn’t warn me that you were _hot_.”

Jens’s thoughts come screeching to a halt. He’s had a lot of trouble, the past few days, attempting to come to terms with his feelings, but this? This is a whole new revelation that leaves him pretty sure he’s dreaming. 

And one that makes him feel incredibly fucking stupid. 

The feeling only intensifies when Lucas continues. “I couldn’t introduce myself properly because I didn’t want to make a fool of myself. I didn’t mean to brush you off. Then you didn’t make any effort to talk to me, and it only made the intimidation worse, so I didn’t approach you. Then you finally came to my door with steam basically coming out of your ears and I just thought you were a dick. But you got along with Kes and Max, and even Jayden the few times he came down. So I figured your problem was just with me.”

Jens definitely needs a lot more time to process this. All this time they’ve been fighting and Jens has torn himself apart trying to figure out why, it’s been his own fault. For simply being a complete idiot. 

He doesn’t know what to make of any of it, but one thought takes prominence over the rest. “So, hang on. You actually did mean to kiss me? I mean, you actually wanted to do that?”

Lucas rolls his eyes once more, but this time the gesture seems one of fond exasperation. “I’ve wanted to do that since you moved in.”

Jens is very surprised he’s managed to keep a hold of his coffee. “What the fuck?”

“God,” Lucas laughs slightly. “You’re so stupid.”

“Me? You’re the one who freaked out and couldn’t talk to me in the first place because you went into gay panic mode.”

Lucas snorts. “Obviously, I should’ve just let it out. You’re apparently very capable of dealing with gayness and panic.”

“But...why always with the music, then? If you weren’t trying to piss me off?”

“Well, after the first time, I was kind of trying to piss you off,” Lucas admits. “You also played your piano every time I did it, so.”

Jens blinks at him. “You did it because you wanted to listen to me play?”

Lucas shrugs, seeming suddenly shy. It’s all very new. “You never did it, otherwise, if you knew I was home. I didn’t even know you played until that day and then...I liked listening to you.”

Jens shakes his head. The slow growth of his smile has made it far enough to feel like it’s splitting his cheeks. He sways a single step towards Lucas as giddiness and relief seep through him, leaving him light and buzzing. This is the most pleasant unexpected turn of events he could’ve ever hoped for. He doesn’t even think he ever would have allowed himself to hope for it. 

“So,” he questions slowly, “does this mean I can kiss you again?”

Lucas’s grin is wide and pleased, and for once, Jens happily allows himself to note how beautiful he is. “You can even take me to get one of those coffees for myself, if you’re keen. To begin to make up for putting us through months of bullshit because you’re a dumbass.”

Jens chokes a laugh, too happy to argue or be offended. “Deal.”

Lucas swings back around and this time Jens falls into step beside him and realises they’ve never done anything as simple as this before. He can’t believe he’s spent months in a pointless war zone when he gains so much joy from simply walking with Lucas at his side. 

“Kes is going to lose his shit,” he comments idly. 

Lucas laughing with him is something he imagines he’ll get used to very quickly.


End file.
